Aloha, Washington!

After weeks (months?) of promises, the Cat finally got his orders. We are going to Washington! I know, who in their right mind would be happy to move from sunny Hawaii to dreary western Washington? A mom with two kids under three who has family there, that’s who. We’ll probably stay with my parents while we look to buy a house. (Did you hear that? Clear out a guest bedroom!)

This next month is going to be difficult, to say the least. The Cat is going to be out to sea for four or five of the next six weeks. The movers will come to pack us up in less than a month. Two weeks later, when we see the Cat again, we’ll move out of our house. Then a few days later we’ll be hauling everything to the airport for the last time, at least for awhile.

I’m really going to miss Hawaii, but I’m really looking forward to having family to help out. And being on a much bigger land mass. With rising airfares I’ve been feeling the island fever lately. But I don’t want to complain too much, because I’m sure I’ll be missing all this sooner than I think. I better carve out some time to sit on our front porch and stare at the ocean.

There’s a reason military families get health care

Last week was not good for me. It started going downhill Monday around lunch, with a sore throat. By Wednesday I was in the doctor’s office with a strep throat infection with so much pus on my tonsils everyone wanted to come in and look at them. Then the cough started. And runny nose. By Friday night I had pinkeye in both eyes. And on Saturday, I went to the doctor’s with laryngitis. The laryngitis was probably the most difficult to deal with, since Thing 1 is in her “Why?” phase and Thing 2 is just learning what the word “no” means. At least I’d like to thing he’s learning.

It’s a good thing all of these doctor’s visits are covered by our military health care, because I blame the military for my current condition. Yes, I believe stress and anxiety brought all of this on. After all, I’m not one to get sick too often, but the last few weeks of military life have been more stress-inducing than normal. I’m used to the military treating The Cat however they want, but at the moment they are messing with my family and our future, and the fact that there is nothing I can do about it has me lying awake at night steaming. We’re supposed to leave here in 6-8 weeks, but we can’t get anything in writing so we can make our plans. I have no idea if The Cat will be around to help with the move or have time on the other end to help shop around for a house. (We’re planning on buying our first house, another stress factor.) So here I am, feeling crappy, with a trans-Pacific move upcoming at an undetermined time that I may be doing with just me and the two kids. I’m not ready for this.

The Cat, bless his heart, has been trying to get this taken care of for months, to no avail, because others just aren’t doing their jobs like they should. And now, since there’s no official word on when we’re supposed to go, The Cat’s boat will probably take him out to sea and keep him here longer. Ugh. I really don’t like to complain about the military, after all, it is our bread and butter, plus I’m as patriotic as the next guy, but I also hate it when my life gets screwed up because some paper pusher hasn’t done what they should’ve done months ago. Okay, rant done. I’m going to take all my meds now. At least they didn’t cost me anything.

The idea of living in Hawaii

We’ll be leaving Hawaii in a few months. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, with two small children it will be great to be closer to family, especially when The Cat has to go out to sea on the submarine. On the other hand, I’m going to miss living in Hawaii. At least I’ll miss the weather and the IDEA of living in Hawaii, which, unfortunately, my reality hasn’t matched.

The idea of living in Hawaii, at least for me, means doing and seeing every type of touristy thing, from shopping to dining to activities that require sunblock. It also means going beyond the simply touristy and doing the local thing. Those word of mouth things that aren’t listed in Frommer or Lonely Planet guides. Making friends and having experiences that make Hawaii feel like home. That idea would have been ideal. But, instead, we had two kids in the three years that we’ve lived here.

I moved here, far from friends and family, halfway through a pregnancy, making finding a regular job hard. (Thank goodness for Kaplan getting me out of the house occasionally!). Oh, and The Cat has been gone – a  lot - making it difficult to keep even a non-regular job. Sure, I could’ve overcome those things and been more adventurous, but I have more excuses. (Many of them center around traffic and parking. Who knew I was such a car wuss?) The truth is, when I get back to the mainland, people will say, “Oh, Hawaii! Did you do ______?” And most of the time I’ll have to say no. I hate that left out, not-in-the-know, wussy feeling.

Still, we do now have two kids who can (forever and always) say they were born in Hawaii. That, plus the fact that Things 1 and 2 are the most wonderful kids you’ll ever meet, I guess evens things out. Regardless, it’s hard to accept the fact that I didn’t get to do everything I wanted here. But, maybe I shouldn’t give up yet. I have a few months left, and I’m not leaving without a fight.

 

The Cat came back

It has been two months since my last post. If that seems pathetic, it’s only because it is. TCITH was gone for 2-1/2 months and it was a very tough deployment for me. So bad that I tried to get an AMC flight home. You know it’s bad when I’m willing to go to the bother of trying jump through the hoops to get on a military flight with two small children by myself.

TCITH came home at the end of April. For 5 days before he came home, we (Thing 1, Thing 2 and I) were dealing with the flu. Then pink eye, a plugged milk duct that become infected, flu (TCITH this time) and pink eye again. Oh, and a yeast infection from the antibiotics for the milk duct infection. Yeah, it was a fun three weeks. But at least he’s home. I’ve been able to get some work done, to get out without kids for an hour or two, and even consider making social plans. Not feeling quite so pathetic now. It’s good to have the Cat back.

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to

Thank goodness for the Ultimate Blog Party this week. Otherwise I’d be crying in my beer alone. I see you looking over my shoulder for someone more upbeat to talk to, but really, this isn’t too bad. Here’s the story…

I’m fairly close to my family, even though we are separated by thousands of miles of water, give or take. (They’re on the west coast, I’m in Hawaii. I don’t have my globe handy to measure the actual distance.) Put another way, we’re separated by hundreds of dollars (maybe thousands these days) in airline tickets. I was last home to visit for our whirlwind mainland family tour of 2006. I miss my family, and when my husband (The Cat in the Hat) is out on his submarine, I miss them even more.

Today, I got a call from TCITH. That’s a good thing, since it doesn’t happen often when he’s gone. So, why do I want to cry? He was sitting on my parents couch. Yes, the navy took my husband to visit my family while I’m stuck at home with our two young children. How unfair is that?

But, enough about them. I hope they’re happy together. And, as some commenters have pointed out, it’s hard for me to evoke sympathy when I live in Hawaii. It’s true. My life’s not half bad. We play outside every day of the year. Even tonight, while the midwest is buried under snow, we walked around swatting mosquitoes as we visited neighbors out on their front porches. If you ever have to have a sucky life, Hawaii is the place to do it.

So, I’ll light the torches while you blend up the lava flows and we can party outside in our shorts and slippers. In fact, if you would please, make mine a double. Tomorrow I tackle my cockroach problem.

Enjoy the drink!

The cat came back

The Cat in the Hat was just home for nearly four days. It was a welcome surprise, since we didn’t think we’d see him that soon. Welcome, but also bittersweet.

TCITH had been gone (maybe) ten days, and already Thing 2 has changed so much. He had just started rolling over when TCITH left, and now he’s rolling all over the place trying to get what he wants. Even if it’s off the couch. (Good thing the nanny-cam wasn’t rolling that day.) He’s learning better control over his body too, especially his hands. It no longer looks like an accident when he gets a toy into his mouth. That’s right, my boy can make a controlled, coordinated effort to get a toy into his mouth. That boy is going places! But, seriously, when he’s grown that much in just 10 days, what is a few months going to be like.

Then there’s Thing 1. TCITH got home Friday night and had to go out for a short work meeting Saturday morning. T1 cried when he left, because she didn’t want him to go to work. Forget about what TCITH is missing, how much are the kids missing out on when he’s gone?

Abandoned

We had to drop off TCITH for work early this morning. He’ll be gone for a good long while, although not as long as last year. (Six months was way too long to be without him!) I knew this was coming, and yet it still snuck up on me. It’s hard, because I know he’d give anything (that’s legal and not too painful) to stay with us. Still, I feel abandoned. I knew I’d feel this way, which is why I stayed in denial about his departure for so long. After all, why take out my anger on him when it’s not really his fault. He’s not thrilled with his job either, but he’s doing it so the kids and I can have an enjoyable life, even if it means we sometimes have to try to enjoy it without him. I’m not sure which one of us has it worse: him, who has to live without his family for months at a time; or me, who’s stuck alone with the kids for months at a time. <sigh> It’s not a great situation for anyone, but it’s the one we’re in, so we live with it. The fact that he lives with it without complaint makes me love him all the more. I miss him already.

Welcome home, sailorboy

Hubby comes home tomorrow. It is blissful and stressful all rolled into one. He has been gone six months. He’s missed our daughter’s birthday, our anniversary, my birthday and the birth of our son. We’ve learned to live without him, all the while wishing we didn’t have to. Waiting for him to step off the boat will be moments of stomach-knotting anticipation, then joy. Then sorrow, because we’ll never get those six months back. He can only relive the birth of his son through my storytelling. He won’t be able to recall how tiny he was when he was born. (Not tiny exactly at 8 pounds, but relative to now…) Our daughter remembers Dad through pictures, movies and mom telling her about him, but who knows if she’ll recognize him in person. He’s missed her first haircut, learning her ABCs, all the other things that come with turning 2. But we’re thankful he’s coming home. Now begins the awkward dance of learning to live together as partners–as a family–again.