Abandoned

We had to drop off TCITH for work early this morning. He’ll be gone for a good long while, although not as long as last year. (Six months was way too long to be without him!) I knew this was coming, and yet it still snuck up on me. It’s hard, because I know he’d give anything (that’s legal and not too painful) to stay with us. Still, I feel abandoned. I knew I’d feel this way, which is why I stayed in denial about his departure for so long. After all, why take out my anger on him when it’s not really his fault. He’s not thrilled with his job either, but he’s doing it so the kids and I can have an enjoyable life, even if it means we sometimes have to try to enjoy it without him. I’m not sure which one of us has it worse: him, who has to live without his family for months at a time; or me, who’s stuck alone with the kids for months at a time. <sigh> It’s not a great situation for anyone, but it’s the one we’re in, so we live with it. The fact that he lives with it without complaint makes me love him all the more. I miss him already.

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